The Malt Shovel RATS (Real Ale Tasting Society) visit Adnam's brewery at Southwold.

Wednesday 12th April 2000, 0630 hrs.
Assemble at the Malt Shovel for departure and it was wet. This seemed to set the theme for the rest of the day, wet that is, but not necessarily on the outside.

Only one route to Southwold, A17, and roundabout after roundabout but José kept the mini bus pointing in the only direction of importance, towards the brewery.

0830 hrs and stop for cholesterol intake at a greasy spoon with the welcome of "No Tea, No Wee". Just what the doctor ordered. Well perhaps not! Thinking about it, what with a breakfast like that and what was to follow I can't think of many doctors that would have approved. In fact I can’t think of any!

With the mini bus parked outside the Swedish run guest house, The Northcliffe, we walked the few hundred yards to the centre of Southwold and glimpsed the brewery buildings and Visitor Centre. Photo call time for the group but as DI composed the group he let slip the camera. Luckily the fall was broken by a huge puddle! No physical damage but the camera drowned. No record on film, therefore, of this momentous occasion.

Signed in, visitor tag attached, last toilet visit before trip and off we go. We were escorted by a very friendly and knowledgeable guide and were shown in great detail every aspect of the brewing process and every inch of the brewery including the sensitive nature that the expanding brewery has in that it has acquired a row of terraced houses, retained the façade and built purpose made premises behind. No one would ever know. Even the doors have letter boxes.

Following the end of an incredibly informative two hour tour the basement beckoned and we descended into the bowels of the brewery for a 'tasting' session. Didn't taste the first one and neither did anyone else. Having been tortured by the amazing aromas of the previous two hours, the beer was dispatched with consummate ease. Half pint glasses and no till in sight resulted in furious activity for the two Johns attending to our every request. Adnam's Bitter, Regatta and Broadside were all sampled in large quantities before we were whisked away to the Red Lion to indulge in more free beer and a superb buffet. Not for the faint hearted, this trip!

1430 hrs, buffet demolished, free beer at an end, we started to fend for ourselves. After a while DT left to make the necessary sleeping arrangements with our Swedish landlady, JH decided an afternoon nap was in order. This left me, The Auctioneer, Flash, Slumberdown, José, Sex Machine, and his father. We lost the last two somewhere along the way but we are not sure where or when.

The Sole Bay suffered first (the most miserable landlord I have ever come across) followed by the Lord Nelson then back to the Sole Bay. Time now approx. 1830 hrs and thought and memory clarity is severely impaired. DT had rejoined the group at some point (can’t remember where) and we decided to return to The Northcliffe guest house to freshen up. Room allocation acceptable, keys collected, and my room mate collapses on the first bed in the room saying "I'll just have half an hour".

Wrong Despite the efforts of me, DT and The Auctioneer he could not be roused and didn't wake at all until 0800 hrs the following day. New nickname Slumberdown.

The remainder of the evening is somewhat blurred, but I understand that Sex Machine and father, The Auctioneer, Flash, JH and José went for a fish and chip supper washed down with Broadside. This is something Slumberdown had been looking forward to for months! Tough. DT and myself stayed for the duration in the Sole Bay, basically because we were incapable of moving very far. Getting home? No idea. Slumberdown fast on. Flash getting back late and falling asleep with the TV on and annoying neighbour (JH). Goes to the toilet (not en suite) returning to wrong room, which had not been locked. Get the picture?

Thursday 13th April 2000.
Breakfast taken by all nine Rats, and all in remarkably good fettle all things being considered.

The Swedish landlady of The Northcliffe guest house was upset because her computer wouldn't work. Slumberdown to the rescue. Wearing his underpants outside his trousers he sprang into action and within less than ten minutes the computer was fixed. Slumberdown the hero!

1030 hrs - we set off and call at the brewery shop which was a little disappointing but we found out that new stocks would be arriving in the next couple of weeks, due to the rebadging and relaunch of the Adnam's logo, which is a definite improvement on the previous one.

A sedate drive back and arrive at the Malt Shovel at 1330 hrs to sample some more Broadside at RATS' price. What a magnificent two days. Good company. Good beer. Good trip. Good laugh.

Thanks must go to José for organizing the trip in the first place and for his rigorous selection process in establishing who went as the numbers were limited by Adnam's. Thanks for driving too.

RATS 2000
May '00